| "Just let me hold you until I'm done." -God I'm sorry I didn't update from the last few sessions. It's been busy--sleep has been limitted. Pray for us--it's been awesome and well worth the trip, but I think the warfare has also been high. A lot of the frustration has come from little physical things--pain has a way of being distracting to the best of us, you know? Anyway, there have been several awesome sessions since I last posted. But, particularly on my mind right now is tonight's session. Allen Hood spoke. And, contrary to his very intense message last year (which was also amaaazing)--he spoke a very tender message about the mercy of our God. I was blown away. He spoke from Matthew 9, and the story of Jesus going to eat with Matthew, the tax collector. The Pharasees could not understand this--but Jesus told them (in verse 13), "Go and learn what this means: 'I desire compassion, and not sacrifice, for I did not come to call the righteous, but sinners.'" In other versions it says, mercy instead of compassion. God desires mercy. This is something we can't just "get" from a conference speaker, we have to learn it as truth, as reality! God delights in showing mercy (see Micah 7:18)!! The perscription for the laden down heart is mercy. God says to us with the tender, joyous voice of our Father, "I love to make you holy!" So, He loves to show us the mercy we need to get there. We aren't called to come to our quiet times bargaining for mercy, leaving in shame, with a shrivelled heart, unable to receive or give love. Instead, we are called to function from the same place that the forgiven woman of Luke 7 did--giving lavish love because she was forgiven much. When we go to our quiet times, we are called to confess--knowing that the Lord is just waiting with longing to show us mercy. Allen commented on his own life, "I didn't know [God] loved mercy. I thought He tolerated mercy." We so often spend our quiet times bargaining instead of receiving mercy, so our ability to love Him is not expanded. Our heart is not expanded. We need to come to the place of saying to the Lord, "I trust Your mercy. You know my love is weak. [But You also know] it is real!" There was a lot more, but I'm exhausted, and it's about 1:15 am. Please, again, keep us in prayer! I'm going to bed tonight with my right eye bright red, for no apparent reason--praying that it will be healed by morning. I can't really do anything about it now except pray. I think I've already used too many different eye medications to be healthy. Prayer appreciated. And ask me later to recap the story Allen shared about his son--it seriously brought me to tears. Alright--goodnight all. |
